The Boys Are Not To Blame.

Bisiwaa,

Why do you say I am to blame? You keep telling me I ruined your life. You even cried it when the doctor said it was six weeks old. Everything is my fault. Isn’t it? I thought it took two to tango. In fact, we experienced it, but how quickly you forget. Bisiwaa, you easily take a convenient position. We took a bad turn and detoured our lives. How’s that for accuracy? 

I didn’t conjure what grows inside you, and pregnancy is not an airborne disease you caught from me one humid morning. So when you say “I ruined you”, you leave me confused and thinking madness. We had sex! Remember? You and I did it raw in an agreed darkness. Am I still to blame? Ei Bisiwaa, do I wear this cap of inaccurate accusation when the whole world knows how a woman gets pregnant? Don’t you know how a sperm and an egg come together to form a zygote, grows into an embryo, and then you miss a period, and then your mother catches you vomiting, then drags you by the ear to the useless boy’s house? Sorry for getting carried away, but like most teenage fathers, you have branded me the antagonist in this story with no audience to hear my side, and that is not fair. 

Believe me, I do not plead my case to win, I just want to be an equal party. I know your family wants to eat you up but I beg you, don’t bury me in hate that lasts a lifetime because of the pressure. My retired soldier for a dad isn’t letting me off his belt hook anytime soon so you are not alone in this. Many boys ran away from this kind of yawa, but what about me who chooses to stay? What about me, who wants to be a father to our unwanted pregnancy? What about me, who thinks about getting our lives back on course? Am I still to blame?

I agree we let our hormones get the best of us. And that is a lame excuse but the deed has already been done. Ay3 ka, and nothing can change it except a murderous abortion, something I don’t have the gut for. So Bisiwaa please, all I ask is that you do not blame me, let’s blame us. Let’s not play this game of hate and blame. It surely won’t end well with us. We can take equal responsibility for our actions and find a way forward. I pray that you do understand. Anyway, this is getting too emotional, so I’ll just quit without sending any regards to your family. Obviously, no one would want to hear them. But remember, I really did not plead my case to win. I just want to be an equal party.

Still Your Boy,

Ogidi.

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